Saturday, February 5, 2005

"Jeff Gannon"--the crucial question

All the blather about Jeff Gannon obscures to some extent the crucial question at the core of the scandal. That question is, how did he connect with the White House to get the credential? We know that he didn't connect by being a journalist. The credential gave him the status he was supposed to have in order to get it. The answer that it was his connection with Talon News is false. He was credentialled before Talon News existed. This is a fact. He might have been connected with GOPUSA before Talon, and therefore connected with the Eberle Texas pol--who does have connections to Bush. But that did not give him the status to achieve a credential.

Possibly Eberle simply gave Gannon a letter of introduction. This letter would have been either a lie, or something like "this is a nice guy who's on our side." Then the question becomes, how did Eberle know Gannon? Because Gannon was not a journalist. In fact, Gannon did not exist until the credential. Before that it was Guckert.

Guckert was apparently a gay prostitute. That's what he was. That was what he did. Or at least, to be completely fair about it, we know that Guckert posed nude on websites which offered his "services" for money. Whether he was a successful gay prostitute--whether he closed a deal--isn't known as yet. So one might more accurately say that Mr. Guckert had the mindset of a prostitute. (Yes he was also a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn ... yeah, right.) That's why he had four or so websites advertising his services. That's how he got his connection started with this White House. Because that's his credential. It must be that somewhere there was someone who thought, this guy is smart, we can help him out and also use him. The deepest question is who decided that, who gave this gay hooker a hand up into power and respectability? It's not surprising that Guckert was willing to sell out himself as a gay man to achieve power and respectability. He was, to start with, a whore. (If he thought that being a male prostitute wasn't being gay, then he was already a Republican too.) It was the same thing he was already doing. But until this deeper question is asked, there is a real cover-up happening, a corruption. And it's made much worse by the hypocrisy of the White House. And it's also very important because the "free press" is being directly subverted when "fake journalists" are implanted into the press and credentialled as "real."

Here's the way they must have looked at this transaction, wherein Guckert became Gannon. Out of the ashes of the self-denied, shadow life of gay sex that Guckert lived sprang the virgin boy journalist, Jeff Gannon. Jeff was literally "born again," anointed, made new. This is actually the current argument being offered by some in the Christian Right. It's normal to them. It's how they live and how they want the rest of us to live. It's the old Victorian code. Do it, but shut up about it. Don't ask, don't tell. If you want to read about these people, start with Frank Harris's wonderful memoir. It's all true.

One would think that the key witness in this nonexistent investigation has to be Rove, unless Eberle has the power to vet on his own. The White House has run away from Eberle, and certainly he has no official status in the apparatus of the White House. Someone on the White House side of things has responsibility for Gannon. If that question isn't answered then the Bush Administration is stonewalling the American people in exactly the same way Clinton did when he said, "I did not sleep with that woman." There is the added caveat that Ms Lewinsky was credentialled as an intern and did not pose as anything else or have any sort of political role, except as an unwitting "honey trap" for Republican operatives who were trying to destroy the President during a time of impending crisis--these include Ken Starr, Linda Tripp, and Luciann Goldberg among others. But that's another story.

Here's a song about it I'm working on:

Ballad of Lil Jeffrey

Way out on the prairie, rovin’ on the range,
Lil Jeffrey Gannon, moans his sad refrain:
“Oh to be a cowboy, on a big cayuse,
Oh to be from Texas just to have a good excuse.
And if Ma could see me just right now, manned up like a Marine,
I know that she would love me more than you.”

Now the boys down in the bunkhouse, they never get their fill,
They love stiff competition, it gives them all a thrill.
They went searching for a mandate, one sunny afternoon,
The bees they were a buzzing, late in the month of June.
And little Jeffrey Gannon, they happened to espy,
And he knew that they would love him more than you.

(chorus) Oh tell me now, pray tell me do,
Why don’t they love me more than you, you, you?
I’ve hidden in the closet, I’ve stooden in the rain,
I’ve been the bestest soljer, I’ve never been a pain,
I’ve delighted in the innocent, I’ve even sold my brain,
Why don’t they love me more than you.

Well little Jeffrey Gannon he road off into the woods,
He searched through all the bushes, he did the best he could.
He asked the nicest questions, he went for bargain rates,
He always took the top bunk so he was always straight.
But finally and in the bitter end, he had to recognize,
They would never ever love him more than you.

Cause you, you were elected, from the day you once was born,
And although you was affected, 'twas in Texas you was spawned.
You didn’t have a lick of sense, you didn’t have a care,
But you had a bomber jacket and you were a millionaire.
The cowboys all flocked to your side, they told you you were king,
And you’ll never have to understand a thing.

© 2005 Bill Hicks, all rights reserved